31 years old …

Hi, we are at 25/ 05 at 00:00, and that means that my day begins. And what a day !!! Today is my birthday, I’m officially 31 years old. I can’t believe it, 31 … Wow …

In my birthday last year, I just stay home, in bed, hearing radio from Japan, and at night I went to work.

This year, I’ll go to eat with my mother, and in the afternoon to study.

I don’t use to go party, but, I have something to ask for all of you. Look, I did be glad if you make my day, just write me a poem, or some verses … or something. Feel free, who want, to do it. You can send it to me to my mail : lrtb1983@gmail.com

Thank you for reading my blog.

Much love.

Nothing to hide, some words about my poetry

Yes, I cry !
Yes, I’m a loser with no talent playing the poet and the artsy !
Yes, I will not stop doing that !
(Not stop Writing)
My screams are harsh
So everyone can hear them
I’m not ashamed of my pain
I’ll let you know when I’m suffering,
But when I’m happy
We will go drink together
And burn down the bar.
I have nothing to hide,
I have
Nothing,
So bring me another whiskey
And then, bring me the gun
I will fill it with words
And shot bleeding verses
Straight
To your heart.

05/11/13 (5th log)

I’m tired. I slept only 2 hours in the morning, and I was all day awake, at the airport, waiting, with my mom, for my aunt to arrive. She arrived at 6:45 PM, and we came back to the house at 8:30 PM. She will go to sleep in a while. Me, I need to stay all night awake, I’m at work from 11 PM to 7 AM. I don’t know how I will do it. My eyes are closing and I feel devastated. I need some decent sleep.

Being at the airport was amazing, I miss to fly. I want to fly to someplace, just fly, I did like to live in an airplane, I did never get tired of the sensation of movement.
My last fly was to Argentina, I spent 3 month there, I saw my family, my brother and sister (step brothers). It was last year, 2012. I arrived in Argentina at 7/3 and came back to Israel at 7/6. I think I will not come back to Argentina in a looong time. Nothing remains there to me.

I want to find some love. Not only sex. I want some romance in my life. I had my last gf 5 years ago, her name was Efry, we went together for 6 month, then she moved for another 6 month to Italy, and when she came back, every one of us had his own life. After her I was with some whores, I paid for sex, but stopped doing that because it feel empty. Even when I care a lot about sex and physical contact, sex and physical contact feels empty without love, or at last, without some feeling. It’s just masturbation. The main thing, is that there ain’t too much places to search for a love. I work alone, I get out with the same bunch of people all time, I don’t socialize too much, actually, I’m pretty null at socializing, and I don’t think I’ll find my next true love in a pub full of drunk people, and, actually, me being drunk too. When I was younger, let’s say, before Efry, I was never alone, every time I had some girl. Anyway, I feel comfortable in my loneliness, it isn’t too bad, at least when you get accustomed to that.

Shit, I feel devastated, really, really tired. I don’t know how I’ll get to 7 AM awake …

Well, thanks for reading

See you around, folks

Decadence

A leather mask covering my face
below worms
spiders
insects

My skin is ash
My hair burnt grass
My nails knives
Flogging your virgin body

I’m the Black Plague dancing
I am he who at night
Your nightmares feeds
I am the son of war

Kiss me and die,
Masturbate on rotting bodies
SCREAM ! SCREAM ! … Your pain
Is the music of my decadence

Anti !!!

What is man doing
trying to explain God ?
All religions are the same
Business of faith
No-one is true
but all of them claim
to be the only one, the only truth
Fuck off religion !
Brainwashing man
Putting fear into the heart of innocent childs
Creating conflict and nightmares in my existence.
Have taken me time
to understand that there is no religion
nor God out there
in the sky
waiting for us
after death
nor hell
where rebel angels are punished
for all the eternity.
I deny the existence of a religious God
If there is a God
man can’t explain It.
I deny the existence of Satan and demons
There is only moral and immorality
We are the owners of our own life, of our own souls
All religions are the same
I don’t deny a Creator
but I deny the religious God !

Liebster Blog Award

Liebster blog award

Image

I was nominated for second time. I was nominated by the adorable blog :  http://busymindthinking.com/. Please, visit her, she is adorable.
I hate following rules, but, let’s just be a good boy and do this how it must be doing.

Here are the rules of the award :

1. Accept the award, post the picture of the Liebster Award on the top of your post and say who nominated you for the award and list their blog site.

2. List 11 random facts about yourself.

3. Nominate 11 other bloggers for the Liebster Award and list their blog sites.

4. Notify the bloggers of their award.

5.Ask the award winners 11 questions to answer when they accept their Liebster Award.

6. Answer the questions left for you by the blogger who gave you the award.

11 things about me :

1. I like beer, but I hate being drunk

2. I like winter and I dislike summer and hot weather

3. I’m dissamployed and I don’t want to search for a job

4. I dislike stupid people

5. I’m jew

6. I’m not religious but I believe in God

7. I’m thirsty for a beer (number 1 ?)

8. I’m a comic’s fan

9. The best thing that someone can give me as a present is an action figure

10. I buy lots of books that I don’t read

11. My favourite food is cake of ham and cheese

Blogs I nominate :

http://fairytaleepidemic.wordpress.com/

http://chattyowl.com/

http://bettygeneric.wordpress.com/

http://memoriesofsalvation.wordpress.com/

http://biljanazovkic.wordpress.com/

http://chestermaynes.wordpress.com/

http://shakeyourtailfeather.wordpress.com/

http://crissanta.com/

http://manbehindthesteelmask.wordpress.com/

http://khmazzola.wordpress.com/

http://zyoshiko.wordpress.com/

(so mean to only nominate 11)

Here are the questions I was asked :

1) When you smile, out of the blue, what initiates the smile?

I don’t really know, the sadness just pass, that’s all

2) What’s your favorite book?

So much, but I will say the favorite in my childhood : Jonathan Livingston Seagull, by Richard Bach

3) What’s your favorite song?

Starless, by King Crimson

4) What’s your favorite color?

Ok, this one is easy : Black.

5) What does being nominated say to you?

That you like my work, as the same for the people I nominate

6) What inspires you to write?

Most of my writings are screams, it’s easy to me to write when I’m sad than when I’m happy

7) Do you enjoy your work?

Oh, no, I hate to work, I do it only for necesity

8) Do you have a hobby, besides writing?

yes, to hear music, to drive my bicycle

9) If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Japan, or Tibet

10) What’s your favorite inspirational quote?

“… When We Do Bad Nobody Forget, When We Do Good Nobody Remember …” (Hunter S. Thompson – Hell’s Angels -)

11) How did you find this wonderful site?

I don’t really understand that question, but I find it entertaining, I love the comunity of people that I have here, even when most of them I don’t talk outside of wordpress. I did like to know you better.

The questions I ask :

1. What is your first memory ?

2. What is your most happy memory ?

3. Who is your favourite author ?

4. What is your favourite book ?

5. What is your favourite kind of music ?

6. What is your favourite band or musician ?

7. Do you read comics ? If so, what are your favourites ?

8. Do you have a pet ? if so, what kind of animal and how is his/her name ?

9. If you could travel to anywhere in the world, what place would it be ?

10. Summer or Winter ?

11. Coffee or Tea ?

I hope you enjoyed reading this, and to the people I nominate I hope I didn’t bother you, or something.

Take care, hugs.

Drunken dreams

Yesterday I get out, to drink. I called to a friend and we met in a bar near our house. It started good, me with my stuttering, he with his … whatever-he-do (I don’t know). We started to drink. I drank two glasses of red wine, 4 liters of beer, and 2 vodka. Yes, I was drunk. Before we pay, I get up and went to the bathroom. I fell. I fuckin’ fell between the tables. Goddamit !!!. That is my last memory. I can’t remember how I get to my house, how I undressed, and how I went to bed. I can’t remember. But I remember my dream :

I dreamt of a beautiful blonde teenage girl, with short jeans and tattoos all over her legs. I felt in love instantly. I crossed the street to talk with her, but she entered to a car, a big-expensive-car (like a porsche, or a ferrari). Well, I continue walking to my house and I saw some boys with hoodies covering their faces, hacking the electricity. I watched and I told to myself : What the fuck ?. I continue walking to my house and I found lot of comic books, Spiderman, Thor, this kind of stuff.

Then I waked up, in my bed, half naked, with headache, without the comic books, thinking about the blonde girl of my dream.

It was a pleasant night, I hate to lose control, but when I lose, well, I just lose it. I try all the time to be in control of myself, and I put a lot of pressure on me. So is good, from time to time to lose control.

update: Ok, now that I’m sober I hate myself for being drunk yersterday, my body hurt for the fall, I need to search a job, I don’t want, I don’t, I feel stupid, I am, I swear to myself : I will not be drunk again …

(…yes, of course)

untitled No. 16

A veces me pregunto yo

si vamos hacia algun lado

si todo esto tiene sentido

si no estamos solo de paso

 

El rio fluye y muere

termina en el gran mar de piedra,

nuestra vida fluye y muere

que sera de la vida terrena ?

 

Por eso hemos de vivir

cada dia como si fuera el ultimo

hemos de soñar despiertos

para no arrepentirnos en el futuro

 

Pues quien puede mirar a su pasado

y no querer cambiar

las cosas que hemos hecho mal

las cosas que arrepentir pudiera

 

Si te dijeran que mañana haz de morir

como vivirias tus ultimos dias :

viviendo una mentira, o

creando reinos en la Tierra ?

A letter to God (crisis No. 1)

I see you

like a ship sailing in the mist,

it get’s so far away

that I can’t even say if it’s real

or not.

What if all that I believe

turn to be a lie,

a lie to myself,

a faith in fairytales ?

I believe that you really exist

I believe,

but I’m not sure

about

my beliefs

The old man

Old man, Old man

where are the springs of your youth ?

Where are the loveable teens opening

their legs to you

Like the flowers open their petals to the sun.

Do you remember what is to watch at your future and see:

dreams

lovers

girls

money

fame

Do you remember, old man, the breeze in your face

and your hair

dancing in the wind ?

Old man, old man

years made you wise, made you the eldest of your tribe

But who is searching your advice now,

old man, old man

You remember but the time will not return

the spring of your youth

is now a hump in your back.