… did you, ever ?

Did you ever felt the void filling your chest,
the tears choking your throat,
the anger’s fire burning your cheeks and ears ?

Did you ever felt the loneliness covering you, your heart, your bones,
or the cloud in your mind delaying your thoughts ?

Did you ever felt … Did you, ever ?

To Nya

If I tell you that I like you
What will you say ?
I don’t know how to continue this trip
to your heart
That I started some time ago,
And, this game is getting bored
As some puzzle where you can’t find
The connecting piece

And, if I tell you that I like you
What will you say ?

I think, I will continue
In silence, and keep my heart
Safe

Down in a hole, Alice in Chains

Bury me softly in this womb
I kept this part of me from you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers
In a tomb… in bloom

Down in a hole and I don’t know if I can be saved
See my heart I decorate it like a grave
Well you don’t understand who they
Thought I was supposed to be
Look at me now I’m a man
Who won’t let himself be

Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
I’d like to fly,
But my wings have been so denied

Down in a hole and they’ve put all
The stones in their place
I’ve eaten the sun so my tongue
Has been burned of the taste
I have been guilty
Of kicking myself in the teeth
I will speak no more
Of my feelings beneath

Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
I’d like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied

Bury me softly in this womb
Oh I want to be inside of you
I give this part of me for you
Oh I want to be inside of you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers (Oh I want to be inside of you)
In a tomb… in bloom
Oh I want to be inside…

Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, outta control
I’d like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied

~~~ Alice In Chains ~~~

(note : this song is just how I feel at the moment, the guilt for who I turned to be consume me and rot me from the inside … Cold sun over me, bloody moon, holes full of void)

Purim, days of partying …

I’m empty
In the inside
I have no heart
Nor feelings …

… This is the time of the year
Where everyone is partying
Dressing up
Being
Who they fantasize
To be …

… But me
I have no heart
Nor feelings
I’m useless
Like the sun
In a raining afternoon

Little glitter thing

Something shinning in the dark
Like a strange ruby
From out of this world
I, obviously, want to catch it
But every time I get closer
It gets away from me
And now it seems like thousands of kilometers between me
And the glitter thing
An ocean of distance between us.

“Little precious thing
Stop shinning
Stop
Making me wish
For you,
Just
Stop !”

It’s night now and
A sweet caress makes me conscious
Of my feelings,
I search for my heart
Only to understand
That the little glitter thing
Came out of my body
Get away from me.