Zero (my experience with social anxiety)

Oh, sweet rain
Erase my tears,
Humble wind
Take away my fears
Cause living is suffering
And my demons are eating me from the inside
They are devouring my heart, my soul, my life
My interaction with people is null
There is a wall between me
And them
Anxiety is sitting in the throne
Meanwhile I’m in chains
Living life in fear
Feeling rejected
Ugly
Dumb
Feeling too much
Caring too much
Ever hungry for a hug
That I myself
Put away
I’m my own island
And all around me
Crocodiles with sharp teeth and big smiles
are inviting me in
“Come swim with us” they say
“Come, come, let’s be friends”
And I see them, wearing masks,
Only waiting
To kill me
I’m too weak
Living life through fear
Walking the path of death, alone,
While thousand, million inexistent eyes
Stare at me
My movements
And judge me
For something that I-am-not
I am the one left behind
I am the slowest of all
I see them like gold statues
I see myself like a stain of mug
I am Zero
So distant as the closest star.

Anxiety

I feel

a big anxiety

growing inside me

is like if I’m afraid of something

something unknown

and

evil

wicked

some kind of black energy

is like

if I’m afraid

of living

and I’m doubting

about

you