Falling down, again …

This post is a testimony, a fight that I will need to confront for the rest of my life, this fight is against nicotine, cigarets, tobacco …

One year ago, after 9 tries, I quit smoking. I started smoking when I was 22, I started because I was boring and wanted to fill the emptiness of my life. I never thought that it will be a continue fight the rest of my life. I tried, and tried, and tried … After 9 tries I could quit. I thought I will never come back. Well, I fell again some days ago …

One or two months ago I get out to drink with a friend. This friend of mine smokes. After some beers and whiskey’s I asked him for a cigarette … I knew that if I smoked this cigarette I will come back, but, I didn’t really cared. The thing is, I’m an addict, I like to smoke, I feel great pleasure smoking, but I hate it at the same time. Nicotine is a very strong drug, it change your way of thinking. Now is the third day of my come back and I want to stop smoking again. The reason that I want to quit is a healthy one, I feel my lungs full of smoke, it even makes me difficult to breath, my chest hurt, I feel dirty, it isn’t pleasant at all … it’s a fuckin’ hell.

I’ll quit for the 10 time, I know how to do it, I need to throw the cigarettes and wait some days, I need to be strong … I will do it, I will smoke a last cigarette and throw them … Wish me luck and send me forces …

Addiction is a fight for the rest of the life, but, just as you fall, you can get up again …