05/11/13 (5th log)

I’m tired. I slept only 2 hours in the morning, and I was all day awake, at the airport, waiting, with my mom, for my aunt to arrive. She arrived at 6:45 PM, and we came back to the house at 8:30 PM. She will go to sleep in a while. Me, I need to stay all night awake, I’m at work from 11 PM to 7 AM. I don’t know how I will do it. My eyes are closing and I feel devastated. I need some decent sleep.

Being at the airport was amazing, I miss to fly. I want to fly to someplace, just fly, I did like to live in an airplane, I did never get tired of the sensation of movement.
My last fly was to Argentina, I spent 3 month there, I saw my family, my brother and sister (step brothers). It was last year, 2012. I arrived in Argentina at 7/3 and came back to Israel at 7/6. I think I will not come back to Argentina in a looong time. Nothing remains there to me.

I want to find some love. Not only sex. I want some romance in my life. I had my last gf 5 years ago, her name was Efry, we went together for 6 month, then she moved for another 6 month to Italy, and when she came back, every one of us had his own life. After her I was with some whores, I paid for sex, but stopped doing that because it feel empty. Even when I care a lot about sex and physical contact, sex and physical contact feels empty without love, or at last, without some feeling. It’s just masturbation. The main thing, is that there ain’t too much places to search for a love. I work alone, I get out with the same bunch of people all time, I don’t socialize too much, actually, I’m pretty null at socializing, and I don’t think I’ll find my next true love in a pub full of drunk people, and, actually, me being drunk too. When I was younger, let’s say, before Efry, I was never alone, every time I had some girl. Anyway, I feel comfortable in my loneliness, it isn’t too bad, at least when you get accustomed to that.

Shit, I feel devastated, really, really tired. I don’t know how I’ll get to 7 AM awake …

Well, thanks for reading

See you around, folks

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