04/11/13 (3rd log)

I’m out of words, my poetry don’t want to ride trough my soul, I’m struggling to write something, I’m feeling desperate, words are an important part of my life. It seems like I need to suffer to write poetry, and my life is going ok right now. Ok if you don’t take on count that I’m financially broken, I mean, I work my ass off but I don’t do much money, and the money that I do, well, it goes with the rent, the expenses, the debts, and at last it seems like I work for nothing. Fucking situation, I want to be rich. I want to swim in a pool of gold. Instead, my stomach is empty … Well, is not like that, my mother buy food for me. Thank you mom. If not, I did be starving. But come on, not everything in life is money, or food, or … Well … Who I want to lie ? I did be happy if I was a millionaire, a billionaire, like Bruce Wayne, Batman included.

Like always I’m at work. It is the only place where I can be with myself. I’m searching for a girl in the net. I started to talk with someone, and she seems kind of interesting. A big plus is that she actually answer me.
I don’t know what to tell to women, how I get to know them ? What can I tell them ? Ufff, I feel such a loser sometimes … Most-of-times. But it’s ok, you get accustomed to that.

I’m developing more and more my geeky side. I read lot of comics. I download them and read them in my iPad. Sorry, comic industry, for not give my money to you, God will compensate you. I love geeky series like Star Trek, Doctor Who, Firefly, and movies like Star Wars. I’m a big fan of The Big Bang Theory, God, I love those guys, it is like me and my friends. I love games, too, specially table games, but most of the time I have nobody to play with. I just started to play Talisman in my iPad, and it’s great !!! I’m totally into it.

I have a new habit, a bad one, actually, I chew the interior of my upper lip. I want to stop doing it, but I can’t. I need a lot of concentration to not do it, and when I don’t concentrate, I come back to do it. Maybe I need to go to the shrink ?
I need to go to the shrink because I don’t know how to buy, too. I mean, I buy things, and then I repent of buying it. Or I buy clothes that are big for me, or I feel that everyone stares at me … I think I’m kind of paranoid …

… Someone is calling to the door. I think it will be all for now.

See you around folks.

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