I’m a disaster (meeting new people)

I’m a disaster meeting new people, I just don’t know how to handle it and I feel weird when I’m with people that I don’t know. I suffered of social phobia when I was younger. The only thing that mades me feel without pressure is to be drunk, then I can socialize, and I feel free … but the true is that I hate alcohol and I hate being drunk. I feel weird with every new people that I start to talk or write, and even with people that I know. I know it’s a lack of self-security, but …

 

I don’t know why I’m writing this (if to write about this will be of any help …) 

 

Do someone feel that way ?

If so, how you handle it ?

 

Thank you for reading …

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20 thoughts on “I’m a disaster (meeting new people)

  1. You’re not alone. Don’t worry. I’m like that, too. People who are the opposite of us are not that many. Everyone has his/ her own anxieties when meeting new people. Just relax.

    • thank you, the thing is I get paranoid and I take a defensive attitude … is like with my body language I’m telling to them : leave me alone … but it’s something 100 % subconcious

  2. I feel like that sometimes, pero logro convencer a todos de que soy la más desenvuelta y extrovertida. Son mecanismos de defensa, creo. Como yo soy una extraña que acabas de conocer, puedo decirte que no me parece que seas tan malo para eso, aunque sea vía virtual y sé que eso es más fácil. Sólo sé como fuiste conmigo al conocerme y voilá.

    • En realidad lo que siento es como si tuviera un aura que repele a la gente, como que las personas no se sienten comodas en mi presencia, y yo tampoco me siento comodo con la mayoria de las personas, por lo general trato de evitar conversaciones o encontrarme con personas fuera de mi grupo de amigos, y si bien para todas las personas es incomodo conocer gente, en mi caso se vuelve extremo, y cuando por fin logro entablar conversacion me siento wierd y paranoico …

      • Ah ya comprendo. Pues sí. Que te puedo decir, al
        Menos ya tienes ubicado cual es el problema. Esa aura. El siguiente paso es como ‘ablandarte’ ante la gente. Saludos. Ya no nos hemos topado

  3. It is not such an uncommon phenomenon. I know several people who are extremely uncomfortable in social situations and do feel the need to drink their inhibitions away. Don’t feel like the lone ranger
    sweet Leo. You are extremely talented and have so much to offer…be yourself. I have other suggestions but not here. Meanwhile, it is good to write about this. Hugs!

    • yes, I have some friends in the same situation … is just that … I don’t know … I feel weird when I socialze

  4. Practice and push yourself. I have to do the same as well. When people meet me they think I’m a snob because I don’t talk… but they don’t know that it is because I am extremely uncomfortable in social situations. So I push myself to open up. Hasn’t worked yet, but I’m still trying. LOL. Not much of a help I know, but hey, you are definitely not alone. Some people have it, others like us don’t.

    • the same happen to me, when I’m in a group with new people, even if I’m with friends, I can’t talk at all, I just freeze … and, well, people tend to think that I’m snob, too … just that they don’t know what is going on in my head

  5. I feel the same way. When with strangers I often find it difficult to socially interact with them and I become as silent as a moth (are moth’s really silent?) even though I am often quite garrulous amongst friends. I often feel I am better at writing than I am talking, so if there is a person that I like who I have had very little interaction with and therefore, they are basically a stranger to me, I often give them to links to my online pages, et al and tell them if they want to know more about me to discover who I am, to visit my sites. If they like the content then they’ll probably get along fine with me, if not, then there is no point in either of us talking so our lack of communication thus far has been for good reason. Then again I am actually quite socially awkward so any advice, thoughts and ideas I provide on this particular subject should be avoided like the plague. Very thought provoking piece! 😀

    • yes, amongst my friends I’m the loudest, too, I made them laugh everytime … but with strangers is not the same, there are people that are more easy to get in touch and there are people that is completelly impossible to get in touch …

  6. I know how you feel. I do feel uncomfortable, but I still try my best to have conversation.
    Hmm, I just read a book titled ‘Introvert Power’ by Laurie Helgoe. Though I may not fully agree with her in the beginning of the chapters, but the rest helps me a lot. I’m still trying to fully grasp it. 🙂

  7. There are so many people feeling the way you feel. Its not a bad thing. Especially that we all know that you are confident in yourself in other ways, etc.
    i guess time eventually will teach you to be more relaxed around new people.
    Dont be defensive.. 🙂

    • It’s 100 % subconcious, I can’t control it, it controls me … there are people with whom I feel more confortable and there are people that I just can’t say a word, that I freeze … I think I need to learn to live with that …

    • oh, but that’s a problem, the social phobia, it makes you lost security in yourself and difficult to interact with other people. It’s not something to laugh about.

      • yah its a big prob, i am giggling coz of the way you have expressed yourself not coz of your dilemma.thank you. i hope you will overcome this challenge.

      • I’m better, I just try to avoid meeting new people, or going to partys of people that I don’t really know, and only hang out with my friends … I know that is not a solution, but it feels more comfortable.

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