Stigms of the past

I feel stupid 
      pathetic
            idiot
with the cheap tattoos in my arms
that I need to carry like a stigmas of the past
and my insecurity
today I’m having
kind of an anxiety-

       paranoid day
I feel wasted
today I want to die
yesterday was better
                        today
today is just a nightmare
in the dusty labyrinth of time

    and I blame it in my poetry

    and I blame it in my life

    and I blame it in my insanity

I can’t forget

the sins of my past

 

{ come on   

          let me at least

                        drop dead

                                  now }

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9 thoughts on “Stigms of the past

    • Thanks for asking. I’m ok, only when I’m not ok and i feel like going insane … but most of the time I’m ok, yes

    • some days I just feel like that, like if I’m dying, or going insane, too much stuck in the past. Thank you for commenting.

      • I know. I do get stuck with my stupid mistakes and people laughed at it. But we can’t undo. So need to carry on. I ask my Lord many times to overcome it by correcting it.

    • I want to believe, but I can’t. I pray sometimes, but I feel like if I’m talking to the wind, or the roof of my room. I try not to think about my past too much, just live the present day, but there are some days that my sins (let’s call it that way) appear in front of my eyes and get stuck in my mind … those days I feel like if I’ll go insane.

  1. Hi Leo, don’t feel alone, most of us go through times when we feel it is just too hard. You are a strong person, I can read that in your writing. Hope I have not said too much but I feel you are worth it and life is a precious thing, even with its challenges. You have a true gift for expressing yourself,
    It is wonderful.

    • thank you, the truth is that this times just come and go … but when they come it feels like if someone throw a cube of ice water to me, it hurt and … well, I need to scream it out. Thank you, Heart, did I tell you that you are lovelly ?

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