Make your Heart beat with Fire …

Sometimes

I want to end it all

a hole in my head will be nice

seeing from the other side

 

Most of the time I feel

like if anything have sense

we are all empty

God is far away

 

Why are we here ?

Where will this life take us ?

How will we end ?

Is there any answer ?

Anything have sense ?

 

We are all

alone inside ourselves

We are all

individual universes

 

Sometimes it take the one

that you don’t expect

to make you forget about all this

to put a smile in your face

 

To hug you from the distance

To make you feel less alone 

in this obscure night

11 thoughts on “Make your Heart beat with Fire …

  1. Sometimes I feel the same way. I find if you wait long enough, the feeling will pass. It always does for me.

    • thank you for the comment. I’m feeling like this in the last days (months …) … I tried to make this poem not too much depressive and with a “happy” ending.

      • Fuck it. Say how you feel. I hate talking about having suicidal thoughts because people either think you should be locked up for them or that you are just saying you feel suicidal because you want the attention. I understand where they are coming from because I have experienced both ends of that spectrum with my husband in the last two years. He has confessed to wanting to kill himself and he was very serious. I had to trick him into going to his psychiatrist’s office so that his doctor could evaluate him and force him into being committed for a short period. That was two summer’s ago. I have also dealt with him using suicide as a way to make me feel guilty and evoke sympathy. He has screamed several times, “I am going to kill myself” and then ran upstairs while we have been in the middle of a fight. I no longer respond to him when he has those moments and he hasn’t done that in a very long time. However, I have had suicidal thoughts on and off again for months now. I know I won’t act on them. I know I don’t need to be hospitalized for it. I know I am not a threat to myself. I still have the thoughts and I don’t have control over them to the extent that I can’t make myself stop thinking about it when I am seized by those moments. I have only told one female (online) friend about it, because she would never accuse me of confessing that as a means of seeking attention. I felt better after telling her. I felt unburdened. I understand completely how you feel.

    • Thank you for understanding. The really is that I’m not trying to make attention, I feel better leaving alone that being the center. I’m just trying to exorcize my demons (to say it in a “poetic” way). I will not commit suicide, or something … I don’t even think about it right now. But my demons are making me weak this last days … I’m just trying to exorcize them …

      • Do what you have to do. I understand. I have thought about talking about my suicidal thoughts on my blog, but I have opted not to. I don’t want to have to explain myself to people, but that is just me. I think it’s good that you have posted this. It helps you to connect with people who are in a similar way. Like I said…when that feeling hits, wait it out. It will pass. It always does for me at least. Be kind to yourself.

      • Anytime. Feel free to message me if you ever need to. thedreamingsub@gmail.com

        I am not very good about checking my email every day, but you can always leave me a comment letting me know you messaged me.

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