Down in a hole, Alice in Chains

Bury me softly in this womb
I kept this part of me from you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers
In a tomb… in bloom

Down in a hole and I don’t know if I can be saved
See my heart I decorate it like a grave
Well you don’t understand who they
Thought I was supposed to be
Look at me now I’m a man
Who won’t let himself be

Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
I’d like to fly,
But my wings have been so denied

Down in a hole and they’ve put all
The stones in their place
I’ve eaten the sun so my tongue
Has been burned of the taste
I have been guilty
Of kicking myself in the teeth
I will speak no more
Of my feelings beneath

Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
I’d like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied

Bury me softly in this womb
Oh I want to be inside of you
I give this part of me for you
Oh I want to be inside of you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers (Oh I want to be inside of you)
In a tomb… in bloom
Oh I want to be inside…

Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, outta control
I’d like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied

~~~ Alice In Chains ~~~

(note : this song is just how I feel at the moment, the guilt for who I turned to be consume me and rot me from the inside … Cold sun over me, bloody moon, holes full of void)

Some thankful words

Why is that that I can’t write when I’m happy ?
Why is that that I need to be in pain to create ?
My life is turning out well
I want to write about that,
I’ve got not so much words to say
Only
That after a very furious storm
Now I’m seeing some rays of sun

Thank you very much for stay at my side in my most difficult moments, this is for all of you (you know who all of you are)

In life

M3RcVR† (O))))):

Take a peek at her blog, she is fantastic !!!

Originally posted on La realidad alterna:

IMG_20140326_181942305_HDR You said you would run
if I ever came back to you,
but I don’t see that, no,
not in those shoes.

You said you would escape
if you fell in love again,
but I don’t see you running,
not at all.

You said you wanted out
but i’m watching you stay,
standing in those shoes,
being in love,
in life.

And I’m more than glad
that you’re letting me stay
right here, dear
in life.

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Falling down, again …

This post is a testimony, a fight that I will need to confront for the rest of my life, this fight is against nicotine, cigarets, tobacco …

One year ago, after 9 tries, I quit smoking. I started smoking when I was 22, I started because I was boring and wanted to fill the emptiness of my life. I never thought that it will be a continue fight the rest of my life. I tried, and tried, and tried … After 9 tries I could quit. I thought I will never come back. Well, I fell again some days ago …

One or two months ago I get out to drink with a friend. This friend of mine smokes. After some beers and whiskey’s I asked him for a cigarette … I knew that if I smoked this cigarette I will come back, but, I didn’t really cared. The thing is, I’m an addict, I like to smoke, I feel great pleasure smoking, but I hate it at the same time. Nicotine is a very strong drug, it change your way of thinking. Now is the third day of my come back and I want to stop smoking again. The reason that I want to quit is a healthy one, I feel my lungs full of smoke, it even makes me difficult to breath, my chest hurt, I feel dirty, it isn’t pleasant at all … it’s a fuckin’ hell.

I’ll quit for the 10 time, I know how to do it, I need to throw the cigarettes and wait some days, I need to be strong … I will do it, I will smoke a last cigarette and throw them … Wish me luck and send me forces …

Addiction is a fight for the rest of the life, but, just as you fall, you can get up again …

Confession

I wish I could tell you who I’m
And that you
Give me a chance
To know you

I wish I could write something that isn’t sad
But I can’t
Because my soul is wounded
And bleeds eternal blood

I wish you could see me with a smile,
Or, that you could see me at all
But I remain invisible
Hiding in the shadows

I wish I could let go my fears
Of losing you
You
That doesn’t even exist

I wish I could write good verses
But I can’t
Because I’ve got no talent
I’m the useless idiot in the world